Monday, February 2, 2009

Bad mood, bad food, bad mood

I've been very good with my eating lately. RAW RAW RAW! Joint pain - 0, Aleta - 100.

Then I came to work Thursday. This job that I've been loving - Thriving at... In 10 minutes it went to hell in a handbasket. And most of it's my fault in a round about way. I'm good at my job. But then again, I'm still very new at my job. I'm not supposed to be this good at it this fast. Especially not when he didn't expect me to be this good. Now, I'm not asking for pats on the back. I don't care if I'm not told I did a good job. I know when I've done well. What I didn't expect was to be told that I don't know what I'm doing yet. That I need copy everything I do. That my priorities are wrong. That I should do his stuff first instead of the founder's work, or the work I know needs done first. I think he thought he was hiring a blonde cowgirl who's a raw vegan, so that must mean she's a flake in all areas of her life. But what he got was someone very capable of the work. And surpasing his ideal. I think he's threatened by me. And I get it.

What I don't get is that I allowed all that to follow me home. That I ate bad all day Saturday and Sunday. That I was sick all weekend - when I wasn't STUFFING cheese, crackers, popcorn and potatoe chips down my throat. A half a loaf of rye bread with honey? Sure! Why not? I'm not mad and freaked out about a 10 min. meeting on Thursday morning that by Sunday night I'm still out of control.

Which of course, makes me more mad at myself. Because within those 2 days of bad eating I now have joint pain, headaches and hot flashes. It will take me weeks to correct what I undid in 2 days. Yet I'm still mad.