A quick catch up. The fundraiser went great but immediately after I came down with a cold, my husband's grandmother passed away and we drove back to Nebraska and Colorado for Easter and the funeral. The whole time I had this awful chest cold and had hardly any voice.
Now I'm back. I'm healthy again and I realized I'm no longer 'homesick'. After only a day in Nebraska I realized it wasn't Nebraska I was missing. Family members, yes - them I missed. But Nebraska is no longer 'home' for me. Texas is now and will forever be, my home! Yea! I feel a great release in knowing I really am happier than I realized.
Along with this revelation I also found the spark inside me to be 100% raw again. It's only been a few days but deep inside me I know this is really not only what I need but what I want. So it's been actually easier the past few days. Instead of missing that feeling of being sated I'm reveling in how the smallest amount of living foods can make me feel so amazing. The thought of stuffing myself with bread and feeling drugged is no longer appealing. I think it's mostly emotional. I've realized I am happy here, this move was a good decision and that I should be allowed to be happy. Or I should say, I need to allow myself to be happy. And in order to be fully happy in all of my life I need to accept where I am in life and be a Happy Live Fooder.
Peace has never come easy for me. But I think I am getting closer. Food and emotions do go hand in hand. Raw food helped me to overcome a lot of emotional and physical baggage in the past two years since going raw. Now my emotions have helped bring me back to 100% raw.
My two year anniversary of being a raw foodist is coming up May 7th. I want to celebrate! But with who? My family is not interested in eating my food with me. But in order to celebrate I want to share my life, my food with others - preferably like me. It would be so great to sit down with a group of raw foodists and share food. There is a group in Dallas that meet monthly but I hate Dallas. It scares me, the traffic is awful and I'm a little terrified of getting lost. And what a weird celebration to celebrate with people you don't know. But I'm not trowing out the idea. I wish we had a live food group here in Tyler. That would be a wonderful gift!