Raw Living Foods have done amazing, life altering things for me. A quick list for those of you new to my blog:
- My rheumatoid arthritis is in remission and I believe it is being reversed more every day.
- The fibromyalgia I used to be tortured with is now a distant nightmare.
- I'm no longer on tons of medications including the estrogen patch I used to wear after my hysterectomy.
- I no longer have the migraines I've had since I was a teenager.
- I no longer have insomnia which I've dealt with since I was 11.
- I no longer deal with restless leg syndrome which I've had since, well, forever.
- I lost 75-80 lbs.
- I'm emotionally more stable.
- I'm more in tune with the vibrations of the earth and the people around me.
- I'm more "me" than I've been in decades.
I have been blessed with this new found life and reason for being. I believe Raw Living Foods truly are God's Love for us. He created them perfectly for our bodies. If he wanted us to eat microwaved meals He would have made them grow on trees. (All this from a borderline religious person, yes.... but I believe with my whole heart this is true.)
Lately I have again found my footing as a raw foodist and I am feeling amazing, happy and content. With one exception; alcohol. Lately I've also been drinking more than I should. I know better. My body knows better. Every cell in my body screams "NO!" But I've been in a few situations where it seems like a good idea at the time. Not that I haven't thoroughly enjoyed myself. The problem comes later. In the middle of the night when I am in so much pain I flash back to those days before I went raw. In the mornings when it takes pain pills, hot baths and a dozen juiced carrots to bring me to a semi state of life.
As I sit here I am in pain. 1500 mg of acetaminophen doesn't even touch this kind of pain. It hurts to type. It hurts to sit my wrists on the table. My elbows are swollen and painful. My shoulders, hips and knees all ache so much I can't sit still in my chair at work. And my feet, well, I shouldn't be wearing heels today because they hurt so much.
Yet I did this to myself. I haven't cheated on being a raw living foodist. But I have cheated on myself. I just can't live like this - again. Yet I'm afraid I can't be free, be entirely "me" without drinking. It's been so long since I've allowed myself the freedom to just be me.
Maybe this somehow actually relates to raw food as well. Emotional Freedom. Maybe it's time I step up and take responsibility for my raw emotional state as well.