Part of what she thinks is responsible for my depression and emotional troubles are my issues with my rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. She understands that I don't actually want to 'own' them because I feel that by not 'owning' them, they won't own me by taking over my life. However, she feels that I'm not 'accepting' that I have these chronic autoimmune diseases either. Which I see, from her eyes, it does look like.
|My little greenhouse a few weeks ago though it's empty now.|
|Raised beds several weeks ago. Veggies are all in now!|
So, am I 'accepting my limitations'? Hardly :) or should this be :( I don't rightly know.
Today, in an effort to start 'accepting', I called my old rheumatologist in Fort Collins Colorado and requested my file. I haven't seen him or any other doctor in over 3 years. Yes, that was probably not a terrific idea on my part but we all know I wouldn't have taken the meds if they prescribed them anyway. However, I've decided that due to my, up until now un admitted and frightening loss of range of motion in my hands, wrists, hips, and ankles, I am going see if I can find a doctor that will prescribe physical therapy.
I know, I know. I could just go back to yoga and exercise by myself. That's where the problem arises. I used to love yoga and light exercise but over the past few years I've noticed my joints slowly getting stiffer and stiffer and of course, more painful. When I am out in the pasture fixing fence, working in the garden, etc., and I over exert myself I pay for it for several days after. My joints swell up and the heat and inflammation, once back, take some time to ease, even on an 90-98% raw food lifestyle. So I find I do a little less and a little less and now, here I am, shocked that my right wrist has lost possibly a quarter of it's normal range of motion. I'm not even going to tell you how bad my hips and ankles are, that's just sad.
I'll let you know when I find a doctor and what comes of it!