Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I've been prescribed Cat Naps by my son

For those of you who follow me, you know that I've been raw---or at least high raw, since that fateful day 4 months and 4 years ago.  I have seen my share ups and downs since then. Overall though I AM so much healthier than I was back when.

Currently I'm probably above average health and below average physical shape (not withstanding my chronic diseases).  I weigh 170 and have been within 3 pounds of this weight for 3-4 months.  I'm not upset with my weight so much as I am upset with the lack of physical shape I'm in. I've become very, well, lets just say-soft. You are probably thinking I should just exercise more.  I'd love to.  I'd love to be able to do just that.  But that's where my troubles are.

You see, even though I've been a very good---though not perfect raw vegan my rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia has gotten worse this year.  The pain I experience everyday, every minute has multiplied.  I honestly can't tell you if it's worse than before I went raw or not.  I know my feet aren't as bad now as they were before I went raw.  Then again, everything else is just worse overall.

These days I can't do as much as I used to. And I mean that I CAN'T.  And the days that I can do something then it takes me days longer to recover than a normal person.  For example; two years ago I was still doing some yoga and all was pretty good.  At that time I was given a yoga DVD.  I tried it once and tossed it in the back of my cabinet because it did nothing for me. It wasn't enough, it was for old people or sick people or something.  A month ago I tried that same DVD.  Though I finished it, it was painful and took me nearly a week to recover from-and caused a flare.

People that don't have auto-immune disease will never understand the words "can't"and "pain".  I never thought I would either.  Here is a link to the Spoon Theory, a story that finally helped my husband and kids to understand approximately what I go through everyday.  Why some days mom can drive to town, shop all over and still have energy to cook a full dinner and clean up after... and why some days all I can do is take care of myself.  I was humbled by my youngest son just yesterday.  As we were driving home from football practice he said I looked like I was feeling pretty good.  I said that, yes, I was because I'd broke down and taken a nap.  (I've always loved naps but they seem so indulgent and I'm always worried they will mess up my already not so terrific sleep patterns.)  He asked if naps "refilled" my spoon jar. I told him I hadn't thought of it that way before but I guess they did.  Then he looked at me like I was crazy (which we all know I am) and said, "then why don't you take naps everyday?" Excellent question my dear! 

So.... I'm off to take my afternoon cat nap. Here is Lightning our 13 year old black Siamese.  Long story short.  I took my then 4 year old son to get a kitten for his birthday.  A friend of a friend had a litter of blue point siames kittens and I'd had loved my Mother Cat who was a blue point when I was a child.  When we got there he went straight for the only solid black kitten of the litter.  I still had to pay full price for her though.  Turned out to be a perfect choice as she is an awesome kitty.