Sunday, November 27, 2011

Coffee Enemas

I've been wanting to write or do a video on coffee enemas but I'm just to chicken. But recently I found that the Wellness Warrior did a video and it's just AWESOME!  You can watch it now and my comments will be below. 

I do them a bit different but not drastically different. 

  • Here is EXACTLY what I do: Immediately upon waking (about 7:45 am) I start my coffee (and if you follow the Gerson Therapy I also start my oatmeal). I have a 4 cup (32 oz) Bodum french press that looks just like this one to the right.  I put 3 rounded tablespoons of ORGANIC MEDIUM ROAST COFFEE GROUND in it and fill it about a third to halfway with boiling water.  Note about water: I get my water from a natural spring about 30 miles away and yes, the water has been tested and it's amazingly clean water.  I know I should use distilled water but something in my soul says that there are minerals in there that Mother Earth wants me to have. 
  • Then I go feed my horses, eat my oatmeal and juice my first juice of the day at about 8-8:15 am.
  • I then add another cup or two of boiling water to the coffee and stir.  It's easy to add the boiling water if you have a water dispenser that heats it like I do or if you use an electric tea kettle or even if you just boil it on the stove. I let that set until 9 am. Most mornings after I eat I need to "go" to the bathroom naturally. The enema works much better if you've evacuated your bowels first.  This is a retention enema -not a cleansing enema.
  • At about 9 I check the temperature of the water and fill it up with either hot or cold to reach body temperature then take it to the bathroom and fill up my bucket which looks like this.
  •  I have a nice little nest on the floor pretty much like the one described by the Wellness Warrior.  I have a small pillow and a thick bathmat that I've covered with a large waterproof pad that they use under your butt in hospital bed after you've had a baby (sorry don't know how else to describe them) they cost about 60 cents a piece.  You can use a towel but it is going to get messy.  Sorry. There is no way around it.  I've been doing them over a year now and the amount of times that it went perfectly can be counted on one hand. Coffee will "escape" one way or another.  It's just how it goes. Anyway, I highly suggest music or a book to keep your mind occupied or the minutes will literally drag by and it will seem like an eternity.
  • I also use coconut oil to lube up the end.  
  • Lay on your right side with your knees close but comfortably close to your chest, insert the end 3-4" and SLOWLY let out the coffee.  I don't care if it takes 10 minutes to let all the coffee SLOWLY drip in.  Just remember you will have much better luck keeping it in for the 12-15 minutes if and only if it goes in slowly.  Goes in fast, won't want to stay in and comes out faster. Once it is all in then you start your timer, again for 12-15 minutes or until you can't hold it any longer.  Note: It took me months to get my bowels trained to hold it that long.  MONTHS, not days and not weeks.  Months.  Don't push yourself, everyone's body is different. Shoot, you may get it on the first try!
  • A little trick I learned to help keep it in longer is to make sure you don't have any left over obstructions from your (hopefully) earlier evacuation.  I let in just a little bit of coffee.  It's hard to say how much because mine is steel and you can't see how much but I count to 5 then clamp it down, remove the tube and lay there 2-3 minutes then get up and let it go into the toilet.  There... now getting it all in and keeping it all in will be so much easier - trust me!
  • Repeat the above by lubing up the end, (though not too much or it will slip right out and  it will spray all over you and the floor) and remember to RELAX.  Let it in slowly.  Stop it if at any time you feel it wants to back up.  If it does feel like it wants to come out you can lower the bucket and let it flow back in.  Sometimes it's just air and you see bubbles going up the tube.  This is perfectly normal.  When the pressure is gone, slowly let the coffee flow again.  You will learn how your particular body likes it.  Listen to your body - it is the best teacher. 
  • And.... This isn't rocket science. This doesn't require a nurse.  People have been giving themselves enemas for probably hundreds of years if not thousands.  It's like childbirth.  It used to be so easy and normal and then the medical community came in and wanted paid for something natural and made everyone afraid to do something your great great grandmother did as a way of life. Just remember that the temperature should be body temperature.  I prefer a touch warmer than body temp but if you are worried about burning your insides, colder isn't that big of a deal.
  • After you've held it 12-15 minutes or if you couldn't hold it that long, then of course, evacuate it all into the toilet. You will probably need to sit there awhile.  I have no idea how long you will need.  I spend at least another 10 minutes there I'm guessing. I don't know though, never timed myself.  I do know that I can read a lot of pages or listen to lots of music during my morning coffee.  Keep in mind though not to rush yourself to evacuate it all at once.  There are lots of crooks and cranies and it will get stopped up in there.  Just relax, it will all come out... Oh, unless it doesn't because your body started absorbing the fluids.  Which is also fine.  
 Alrightly then!  I hope I've successfully described my morning coffee routine to you.  Please feel free to ask me ANYTHING!  I'm here to help. Really!