Sunday, January 1, 2017

January 1, 2017

Too much time has passed to remotely catch anyone up on my life.

I'm not sure if I should even keep the name or photos on the header as I haven't been in ranching for over 4 years.  Shoot, my ex husband and his new wife now have the gelding I'm riding in the picture on the header.

I guess, the good news is that after all this time, there's no one left reading my blog anyway so I'm just going to use it for myself.

It's the first day of January, 2017 and I need this date to change my life.

To find myself again thru the movement of forward motion. No looking back, only remembering my strength and that I've done this before, I can do it again. 

I just watched my videos that I had posted in 2012 and they inspired me.  Although I wish I realized then just how lucky I was to live in an area that I could forage and grow greens so easily.

Today, I weigh 240 pounds.  That's 80 pounds more than when I was making those videos. The past five years has been emotionally and physically, well, I just cannot put it into words. There have been ups and great times spiritually and emotionally and maybe even a bit physically when I lived in Sedona and was hiking a few times a week. 

I'm starting over - I HAVE to if I want to live. I've been very sick.  Sicker than I ever was at the beginning of my disease but I've refused medical help and pharmaceuticals, mostly because I don't have insurance.  I nearly died a year ago; pulmonry emboli - close to ONE HUNDRED of them was found in my lungs on January 5, 2016.  Just before that in October 2015 I fell and seriously sprained BOTH ankles on a slippery wet cement curb. I've not ever really gotten my ankles back to before that accident.  Walking is painful and a struggle. Between the bad food, injuries, weight gain, depression, drugs to cure the blood clots in my lungs and just the feeling of being in the wrong place, I often wonder why I am still in this reality.  I have friends and family but the me, that was me, that loved ME, I think she died when Stuart died.

Anyway, enough of that, here's what I've eaten today:

1 glass water
1 cup coffee with agave and almond milk

Juiced:
4 massive organic ("O")carrots
1" ginger root, O
2" turmeric root, O
1 green apple, peeled
1 medium beet, O
1 pomegranite
1 grapefruit

I drank a glass for lunch.  I'm going to drink another glass in a few minutes.

For dinner I might roast brussel sprouts or I might juice.

I don't know if I'm going to go on a juice fast or not.  As I work full time, the stress makes it difficult to go on a juice fast.  Also, my eldest son has been planning on taking me out to dinner in Denver next weekend, so a juice fast may not be smart.  I'm in the mood to start now but I'm not sure if it's the right timing. Maybe next Sunday, after dinner out with my son, I could start a juice fast.

I guess we will see.   

ALSO, I've disabled and deleted all comments.  I don't need that shit in my life.  If you know me and want to make a comment, call me, email me, facebook me.